Is Larissa right? Do you sometimes have to fake it to make it? I couldn't help but wonder if I was already faking it to make it. As I lay in bed trying to fall asleep, the familiar feeling of distress swept over me. Something felt wrong. I didn't know what it was or how to fix it but something just didn't feel right. Then it hit me-- what made me feel that way. 'Prim and Preppy'. It's a simple enough title for a simple enough blog but I realized that it was too constricting, too suffocating. 'Prim and Preppy' is an amazing blog title, I think, one that my friends and mom helped me come up with. It's an amazing blog title-- for someone else.
A part of growing up is finding yourself, finding who you are and who you aren't. Sure, I do love my Sperry's and my Ralph Lauren but I'm not exclusive to that look. I'm a person with a wide range of likes and dislikes, a really crazy and collaborative closet. More often than not I'm probably wearing a t-shirt from a local surf shop or a fun Forever 21 pattern button down. I might dress preppy at times, maybe even a lot, but calling myself preppy feels too restricting. It feels like a weight on me, dictating the person I have to be at all times. I love my Nixon watches and my Vans, I love my Jack Wills (I guess that is kinda preppy?), I love my geeky Slytherin t-shirt. Defining myself as 'Prim and Preppy' is, ultimately, a lie. I don't think I'm very prim at all, really. As defined: stiffly formal and respectable. Maybe respectable, I'm pretty good about sticking to my morals and standards but I'm not stiffly formal. All in all, 'Prim and Preppy' doesn't seem like a reflection of myself. I like putting together posts about fun and cute items but I think I was narrowing my scope. I was shutting out parts of myself that I like. I was experiencing tunnel vision.
Along with titling the blog something I don't think I should have in a rush to consolidate and define, I think I took other steps in the wrong direction as well. Creating a Facebook page for the blog and adding links to my Twitter and Instagram did something I wasn't ready for. It made my blog feel more like a brand than a personal space for creativity. Of course my blog isn't a huge thing or a known name, but I feel like in my mind I was making it something more professional, if you will, than fun.
So for now, the blog is 'Prim and Preppy'. I don't know what it will become or where I'll take it, but I'm embracing the fact that it's mine. I don't have to make it into anything I don't want to and I think that's part of the beauty of it. The real me does love a lot of preppy things but I do love so many more things and so it might take a while to name my blog and it might not. I know it might be annoying for readers because I keep changing it and all but I'm eighteen, it's inevitable that I'm on the journey to find myself. As for the fate of the blog? Only time will tell!
Thanks for reading! (And the giveaway is ending tomorrow!!)